Funny, I'm in this paradoxical stage at this moment: I'm sort of in a holding pattern, waiting for things to come through, praying that the best options will work out, and filling out tons of paperwork and applications. I'm keeping relatively busy, but I'm also bored out of my mind.
All of this planning is only peripherally exciting for me right now. The decision-making process is always too drawn out for me; if God wants something to happen, it will happen whether I spend a month pondering something or a day. So while I am looking forward to the next chapter or whatever, I'm ready to get it going. I would rather be riding on a Siberian train, sitting on a beach in Sri Lanka, or doing something--but whatever it is, well, it's just over the horizon and just out of my reach. Cicero, Indiana does not hold the same excitement and adventure that I crave.
In fact, I was having a funny conversation today with Mom in which I was trying to explain to her why Cicero is boring for me right now--a seedy part of downtown Indy might be alright, preferably within walking distance of Martin--and I was trying to explain this very nicely as I had just finished Life of Pi.
And here is where all my wise sisters are supposed to jump in and tell me about how God is teaching me patience or some other powerful lesson right now. Fantastic. I want to learn it yesterday so I can move onto the next thing.
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2 comments:
I love your description. . . a brave, creative person . . . on the brink of something new, yet not quite having the full picture of what that something is. Wish I could write like that! Thanks for putting yourself out there! Love, Sue
The never attainable lesson of waiting on God. It is hard, yes, but you know what, you said it already, His will always happens regardless of how much effort you put into getting yourself there. The car is already moving with Him as the driver, just hop in and enjoy the ride.
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